Crying Raindrops

Soft pitter patter of raindrops on the granite floor. Soft pounding of my heartbeat. Soft tap of my feet on the surface. A hollow empty shell drifting on the streets. White spots are blurring my vision already. But I don’t want to stop. I want my feet to carry me away far from this place, even if I fall, I will get up and continue. That is my resolve. The sharp pain throbbing in my chest, a painful reminder of what just happened remains within me. I am a coward. I cannot bear this pain. I will leave to a place far away and I will never let anyone in again. That is my resolve.

 


 

 

Soft pitter patter of raindrops again. This time I look up at the sky, it isn’t raining. Then I feel a dampness on my cheek. Oh, that familiar sound is that of my tears hitting the surface. I looked down once again and observed each drop of tear through my blurred vision, how it disperses into tiny droplets after making impact. I breathed heavily and let out a silent scream. It happened again, someone has unlocked the box stored within me and I am exposed once more. Soft tap of feet on the surface. This time, it’s not mine. A warm hand landed on my shoulder, the warmth welcomed by my shivering body.

“It’s okay, I won’t let you go.” He said that too.

“It’s okay, I won’t watch you fall.” I fell once already and nobody helped me.

“It’s okay, I won’t break you.” I am already broken, imperfect.

“It’s okay, I am not him.” 

It’s too late, I am exposed once more. Those words shattered the last of my resolve and I dived into his arms, his warmth engulfing me completely. Sobbing and heaving into his chest, I knew it was too late. But it can be a new beginning if I want it to be.

The past is in the past, a new beginning awaits ahead. To embrace the future, to treasure the past, to build a new me. 

raindrops

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